How Abiding in Jesus is the Key to Identity

Identity is a big deal. We all want to know who we are, where we fit in this world, and what we were made for. There are a million voices trying to define identity for us. 

"We fight from love, not for it." - Jennie Allen, The Lie You Don't Know You Believe (this is not an affiliate link, I just love the book!)

But what if we tossed social media out the window, shut off the 24-hour news cycle, and started taking Jesus at His word. What if we believed Him when He tells us who we are and why everything changes when we stop believing the lies about Him, us, and His word. What if we started believing and experiencing the great love of the Lord which He lavished upon us at the cost of His own life and lived that love out toward others? 

Here is the best news: Not only can we know the Lord's love for us, but we can abide there. He wants us to be where He is. He's died so we can know Him, the love of the Father, and be sealed by His Holy Spirit. We can walk in freedom, we can war for friends and family, and we can walk confidently in Jesus, secure in this truth: He loved us and gave Himself for us.

Scriptures Referenced:

• John 15:9-10
• Ephesians 1:3-14

You can find me on Instagram / Threads

Transcript

Carrie 0:03

Hey everyone! Welcome to a new episode of Honey from the Rock. I am so glad you're here, and I am super excited about today's episode. As usual, I I probably need to look up and see if there's a an expression thesaurus that would probably really benefit me. So that way I could use a different word than or a different phrase than I'm so excited to be here. Which is true though. It is very true. I am very excited to be here. And I am looking forward to sharing um some things with you that the Lord has been doing in my heart and in my life. Um, and I mean, if you read the title, you know today is about abiding again. Super exciting. But I think it'll be good. I think this is probably the last time I will talk about abiding for a while, at least. But we'll see. The Lord might lead us in a completely different direction. He might just be like, guess what? You're hanging out in John 15 forever. Either way, Lord.

Carrie 1:05

Um, but I am gosh. Today's episodes, first of all, I'm going to apologize ahead of time. I usually record my episodes the day before I schedule them and put them out on Wednesdays. I tried to be the really organized, cool podcaster who was like, I am gonna record 17 episodes, put them in the bank and schedule them. And just with how life is right now, that has not been possible. So you guys are getting things fresh, fresh out of the oven. Um, I'm sitting here on a Tuesday recording this. I also spent an abnormal amount of time in the sun and the wind today because I was laying down mulch. So if my words are more scrambled than they usually are, that's why. Because I am lay tired. But I was not going to use mulch as an excuse to not sit down and record this episode. So you're welcome. On top of it, I worked out today, and today was my heavy weightlifting day, and so I did heavy weightlifting and then surprise, lifted a bajillion bags of mulch. It's fine, it's good, it's good for me.

Carrie 2:21

So, anyway, mulch aside, I am um, I don't know, probably I am excited to be here, but am I excited about this episode? I am. I am because this is something that the Lord has been working on in me. Because he, in his graciousness and in his kindness to me, has been helping me uproot some lies that I have believed and um has been dealing with some things in my heart that have been kind of tucked away in the cellar of my being. And the Lord's like, guess what? It's time. It's time to root up some things, it's time to dig out some things. My friend Nicole keeps saying he's going down into the basement, which I mean, you know, like I when we when she says it like that, it makes me think of my grandmother's basement and my grandma, her basement was a fun place and also a packed place. So there's a lot of junk in there. I feel like the metaphor is apt. Anyway, so today I want to talk about abiding and why abiding in Jesus actually gives us our identity. And again, I think this is so important because there is a lot pulling for our attention. There is a lot pulling for us to root ourselves in or to find security in, things that we think are going to help us.

Carrie 3:48

You know, when I was preparing for this episode, I started thinking about all of the personality tests that I've taken. Um, you know, I Myers Brig, I'm an ESFP, strength finders, I have uh strategy, activation, empathy, individualization, and arranger. Um, I've taken the Enneagram once, I'm an eight-wing seven. I don't really know what that means. And I've taken, you know, like which which character do you most relate to on Mean Girls? And, you know, who are you once say by the bell? So, you know, I've taken a lot of personality tests. And but I was thinking about that in relation to a lot of us are always just trying to figure ourselves out. Who are we? And, you know, again, I think with things in the church, it becomes really easy to say, well, my identity is in Jesus. And that's true, but how do we actually live that out? And what does that actually mean? And how does identity in Jesus challenge all of the other identities fighting for our um obedience, fighting for our allegiance? And also, how are we walking in Jesus to the place where we're abiding in him and in abiding in him and becoming more rooted and grounded in his love, in his person, in his word and what he commands, that we let him start challenging the idols that are in our life, um, in our life, you know, just to say, I the Lord in his kindness and his graciousness saying to me, I you're not gonna live with some of these things anymore. It's time to root them out at the very deep, deep root. And so that is what I want to share with you today. And I will link to some resources that I've been reading here lately. Um, the Lord has been really amazing.

Carrie 5:48

I my mom and I joke, and I actually had a book club for a long time called The Deader the Better. And for a long time I didn't read a lot of contemporary uh Christian authors, but just in poking around and I listen to a lot of podcasts, and you know, I listen to a lot of different sermons, and and just to kind of get an idea of what's being preached and said around the body of Jesus, um, he's put some really cool resources in my in my path. And one of them is a book that I'm reading right now called, um, of course I've started to say it and now it the title of it has thrown, oh my gosh, right out of my head. This is why I told you guys I was going to apologize for not being able to talk. Uh, Jenny Allen's The Lie You Don't Know You Believe, How to Find It, Fight It, and Live. Um, and it is really good. I am about three-quarters of the way through it. But it, I just, there's a lot in there that I really appreciate. I appreciate how vulnerable Jenny has been in her own story and the lies that she's believed.

Carrie 6:56

But she just talks about, you know, we live in two kingdoms. Um, you know, there are two kingdoms vying, vying for us. And one is the kingdom of darkness, the kingdom of the devil, and he's insidious and he is horrible, and he is a liar and a thief and a murderer, right? Jesus tells us that. And then there's the kingdom of Jesus, who has loved us and given himself for us and died for us. And so, how do we start identifying the lies that we have believed and the lies that have taken root within us and where the devil really loves to come at us and and and where we just really go in our mind, and how do we overcome those things in Jesus? And um, I just I would highly encourage you to read it. It's it's really, really good. Um, it has really encouraged me.

Carrie 7:46

But she had a quote in there, and this quote jumped out to me as I was reading, and it kind of was the catalyst for this whole um this whole episode. And she said, We fight from love, not for it. And she was talking about that in in the context of the love of the Lord, and I and just and what he's done for us and the magnitude of who he is. And I just that quote pierced me like a Bon Jovi song, shot to the heart, you know. Um, the Lord does not give love a bad name, but I just like it, man, it pierced me because how often when I'm warring and I'm trying to overcome and I'm telling myself the truth and I'm doing all these things, how often is what I what's underneath and what's kind of motivating me a fear that because I've sinned, because I've fallen, because I've made a mistake, or because I am warring and wrestling and fighting and trying to get closer to Jesus, that he's disappointed in me and I don't um really believe that he loves me.

Carrie 9:03

And again, saying those things out loud, sometimes it sounds really stupid, right? It's like, well, how could you believe that? You know, scripture says that Jesus loves us, and scripture says that this is what he's done for us, and all of that is true. But I know every person listening to me right now can say, I've actually really learned what I believe is true in the midst of difficulty, in the midst of suffering, in the midst of affliction, health problems, losses, not getting a job, um, deep grief, and and all of those things. And I really felt like the Lord caught my attention with that quote, because that's oftentimes I the lie that's been entrenched in there for me, because I I struggle with performance, like feeling like I have to, I have to put on a show, I have to perform, um, I gotta get it right, I gotta get it perfect, you know. And I'm a procrastinating per perfectionist, which is just like the worst. Um, but there's just so much, right? There's so much vying for my attention and pounding on me, like you screw this up, the Lord's gonna be so mad at you, he's gonna be disappointed. Um, you're gonna disappoint the people in your life.

Carrie 10:19

And and Jenny talks about this in her book, where oftentimes the lie that we believe, the the most pernicious lie that's rooted the deepest in us, is the one we don't even recognize anymore because it's so ingrained in us. And and I think that's why this quote hit me so hard is is the Lord was reminding me and and deepening this truth in me. I don't have to earn his love. And because John, I mean, again, the most quoted verse in the Bible, besides maybe Jesus wept, you know, for like Bible, Bible class points, is for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. For God so loved the world. And in his love and his desire, he said, I am going to redeem you. And the only way that I can redeem you is through my son. This the by his willingness to lay down his life for you. And so the the love of the Lord is actually the basis of everything.

Carrie 11:30

I mean, first John tells us God is love. And when Jesus goes into abiding in John 15, he points us to the love of the Father. And what does he say? He says, just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love, abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept the Father's commandments and remain in his love. And I know it's easy to read that and be like, see, there's there's requirements and there's, you know, there, you know, the Lord's love is conditional and he's right he's making this difficult, which I have had people say to me, but when Jesus is saying, if you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, you will abide in my love, what he is telling us is that to keep his commandments is to, is to do what he has required of us in terms of losing our life for his sake, right? We come to him, we give him our complete yes, and we begin this walk of progressive sanctification. Lord, I know that this requires that I lose me, that I overcome me, that I'm conformed to your image.

Carrie 12:41

And in the beginning, you know, that's really exciting. And because the Lord does so many amazing things, and yet there is so much that has to be rooted out of us that in our sin nature, we're against God. You know, I I was listening to um an episode with Megan Ashley, and she was talking about how one of her practices is when she gets alone with the Lord, she just tells herself the gospel over and over again, reminding herself of who the Lord is. And she said for a while, the place that she lived in, not as like the Lord squishing her like a bug, but just the reminder, Lord, before you get you came and got me, before you put before me this great salvation, I was your enemy. And and I think sometimes we forget that. We forget what the Lord has redeemed us from, and that he has the right to command us, he has the right to oversee us. He he has the right to claim ownership of our heart, mind, body, and soul. And he has poured out his great love for us.

Carrie 13:47

And when he says, keep my commandments, he's saying, do what I have told you to do. That's how you live in my love. You live in my will when you submit yourself to what I command, because what I command is best for you. What I command is is how you will be transformed out of your sin nature, out of your flesh, and into walking with the spirit, into being conformed into my image, growing in holiness, being set apart, growing in knowing the truth, seeing the fruit of the spirit come forth in us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. Um, seeing Jesus become our good shepherd, the bread of life, the living water, uh, the door that we walk through, the way, the truth, and the life, all of those things that he tells us that he is. And so keeping keeping the commandments of Jesus and it being the place where we abide in his love is the place where we walk in what he has decided is best for us. And the the way that the Lord really drove this home to me and and and help was helping me understand this in an even deeper way was he took me to Ephesians 1.

Carrie 15:06

And I don't know if you've read Ephesians 1 lately or ever. Um, if you haven't, I would oh my gosh. I was gonna say I highly recommend, but go go grab your Bible or open the Bible app on your phone, read Ephesians 1. Oh my goodness, it's amazing. And I've and I've read commentaries on it, and they talk about Ephesians 1 is actually really difficult to translate from the Greek to the English, and Greek to English is is traditionally difficult anyway, because of the deep expressions that Greek holds that that are difficult to find matches for in the English. And particularly in Ephesians 1, it's it's difficult to translate because in the Greek it's basically like a giant run-on sentence. It's like the Lord hit Paul, right? It's like the Holy Spirit hit Paul and was like, Paul, pick up. I don't know, did they use quills? Like you're writing apparatus and buckle up, brother, because I am about to drop some amazing knowledge on you. And it is. Ephesians 1 is incredible. And so I want to read this to you because to tie it in with John 15 and why our identity is tied to abiding. Like listen to me read this, read it for yourself, and catch how many times Paul says the phrase in him or in his something.

Carrie 16:38

So Ephesians 1, 3 through 14. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of his grace, with which he favored us in the beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our sins, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight, he made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure, which he set forth in him, which the Father set forth in Jesus, regarding his plan of the fullness of times, to bring all things together in Christ, things in the heavens and things on earth. In him we have also obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things in accordance with the plan of his will, to the end to the to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of his glory. In him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation, having also believed you were sealed in him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is a first installment of our inheritance in regard to the redemption of God's own possession to the praise of his glory.

Carrie 18:35

I mean, okay, I like that makes me want to throw a shoe. Like we read this, and this how like this is the ultimate picture Paul is setting forth for us in the Holy Spirit what the Father has done for us in Jesus. And I'm not gonna get into all the predestination stuff because people are all all over the map about this. All I'm gonna say is we have the opportunity to fall, like the Lord knows the choice that we're gonna make, but we also have the choice to make. That's pretty much where I'm gonna land it. If you want to hear some really good conversation about that, look up Tim Keller. There's a chapter in his book, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, that has a really good explanation, not necessarily of predestination, but of the sovereignty of God's will and also our free will. And he is way smarter than me. So I would highly recommend that you read that.

Carrie 19:37

But if we have come to Jesus, I mean, listen, listen to what he has done for us. And this is why, this is why this quote from Jenny Allen hit me so hard. Because Ephesians 1 lays out if we're in Jesus, and that's what abiding is, it's being in Jesus. It is, it is abiding in him, it is walking in him, it is loving him and knowing him, being in his word, him showing us the Father, him giving us his Holy Spirit, that we would be with them and that we would abide in their love. Look at the manifestation, the manifest fruit that the Lord has given us in Jesus. You know, every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless, right? Like we are chosen by him. Everybody has the opportunity to be chosen by the Lord. Like he died that, you know, is it's the Lord's desire that all men would repent and come to a knowledge of the truth. That opportunity is there before us. And when we're chosen by him, then he sets us apart and he makes us blameless.

Carrie 21:05

And so I wanted, I did a word study, I know, shocker. Um, but I wanted to understand some of these words. So very quickly, so the word is so he chose us. He so helps word study says that he selected us by a highly deliberate choice, i.e., a real heart preference with a definite outcome. Thayer says the ground of this choice, like the Father choosing us, um, and really us choosing the Lord, comes um in Jesus and his merits. And the topical lexicon says the Lord freely chooses people and means for his glory and their good, calling them to faith, holiness, and fruitful ministry in the world. I love that. And so, in being chosen by the Lord, he he he chooses us that we would be holy and blameless before him.

Carrie 21:58

So The word holy um implies something is set apart and therefore different or other because it's special to the Lord. Uh Thayer's says it's of sacrifices and offerings prepared for God with solemn right, pure and clean. And the topical lexicon says this the Greek word for holy embraces two inseparable ideas: separation from all that is common or impure, and positive dedication to God's use. It threads throughout the New Testament as a golden cord binding God, Christ, the Spirit, disciples, and the coming kingdom into one tapestry of consecrated purpose, set apart by grace and empowered by the spirit. The saints display God's own holiness in present obedience and await the day when perfect holiness crowns eternal fellowship with him. And that's what I love. Like holiness here is we are set apart for his purpose. We are set by set apart by grace. We are empowered by the spirit. You know, and I love that that topical lexicon calls it a golden thread. And I think it's so important because are we ever, you know, the Lord calls us to be holy as he is holy.

Carrie 23:17

Are we ever going to be fully holy this side of the grave? No, we're not. But we can be set apart, we can grow in sanctification to where our lives are laid down. We are crucified with Jesus and He lives within us. And and we we start eschewing the things of this world and we desire to please him. We don't want to sin against him because we love him. We don't want to feel that separation and shame of sin because we love him. And we desire that he would increase in us and that we would decrease. And I and I just love it.

Carrie 23:55

And then the word blameless means properly unblemished without spot, figuratively, morally, spiritually blameless, unblemished from the marring effects of sin. Um, the topical lexicon says this term weaves together atonement, sanctification, ecclesiology, and eschatology. Jesus's unblemished sacrifice is the ground. The spirit's work produces present holiness, corporate purity adorns the bride, final presentation secures future glory. Thus, every occurrence of the word blameless, whether describing Christ, the church, or individual disciples, ultimately magnifies the sufficiency of the Lamb and the transforming power of his redemption. Like this is this is what the Lord's done for us. This is why in him, in him, abiding in him, this is where our identity is. We are holy, we are blameless, we are set apart for the Lord. Yes, we are still sinners, we still sin against the Lord, we do wrong things deliberately, inadvertently, all of those things. And yet the Lord promises when we walk with him that we will grow in progressive sanctification, that we will come to know him more deeply.

Carrie 25:17

It is possible, obviously, because the Lord is eternal and timeless, like to grow in the revelation of knowing Jesus and to love him more deeply and to grow in knowing how deeply he loves us. This is this is what he has done for us. This is where abiding in him brings forth much fruit. Because the Lord has adopted us, he's made us his sons and daughters, he's called us, he's set us apart. He he wants to use us, but he wants us to know him. He wants us to know him. He wants, I love that he says, in his love, we have been adopted as sons and daughters through Jesus himself, according to the good pleasure of his will. It was the father's good pleasure that we should be reconciled to him and not just reconciled to him, but brought into union with him, that we should come to know him, that the veil that used to be between the holy, the holy and the holy of holies and the like the holy place ripped apart, torn apart.

Carrie 26:30

We don't need a mediator anymore because Jesus is our high priest and our mediator, in his love, he has adopted us as sons and daughters through Jesus. This was the good pleasure of his will. This is why Jesus, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross and despised its shame. This is why, because he abided in the love of the Father, and the love of the Father abided in him. He did the will of the Father because he loved him. And he tells us that we can live in the same place. We can abide in his love, we can abide in the good pleasure of the Father's will, because he's called us, he's desired us, he's adopted.

Carrie 27:21

I love Paul goes on, and he tells us that we have redemption through the blood of Jesus, we have the forgiveness of our sins. And again, the magnitude of the sentence, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished on us, he has lavished us with his grace, with his person. He has poured out his blood to reconcile us to the father, that we would not just, you know, intellectually assent to the love of the father, but that we would live there. And I'm telling you, friends, this has been the place where I have been wrestling, wrestling to uproot lies that I have believed, that things that I that so just snuck in there and and perniciously rooted in my soul, that the Lord is in his goodness and in his mercy, I mean, he's been dealing, he's been pruning, but he's been uprooting more and more. And I'm so thankful. And this is why this chapter has meant so much to me. This is why going through and talking about abiding in Jesus and maturity and fruit and uh pruning and all of these things has been so good because it is what the Lord is doing in me. And I'm so, so overwhelmed by it and so thankful for it.

Carrie 28:51

And as I was studying this, the other thing that the Lord hit me with and really showed me again, this this quote from Jenny Allen man, we we absolutely like I want to take this in and I want it to be the banner of my life. I will fight from the love of the Lord, not for it, because I already have it. That's what scripture is telling me. Jesus tells me how I can I can live in the love of the Father. Ephesians 1 tells me that this is what the Lord has done according to his purpose in Jesus, according to his goodwill and pleasure, in his love. Here's what here's what he's done for us. This is what he is inviting us into. And this is what starts to destroy lies. And what what I like, what the Lord clicked into place for me is is he writes this, he has Paul write this down in Ephesians 1. And then how does he end the book of Ephesians with the full armor of God, with the war.

Carrie 29:51

So he gives us the foundation. This is who you are in me. This is what I have have done. This is how I have called you to myself, and this is this is how I love you. I've sealed you with my Holy Spirit. I make known to you the mystery of my gospel. I I have brought you to myself through my son. I have, he has poured his blood out so that you can have forgiveness of sins. And it is just like the Lord, he just shows us he has poured out and poured out and poured out and poured out. And then as we go through Ephesians, we see how to, we see the Lord's grace. We see that salvation is it is a gift, it is not of our works. We see the reconciliation that he has purchased between Jew and Gentile, we see the gifts that he has laid down, he warns us about not being driven about by every wind of doctrine. He lays out how we have been delivered from the kingdom of darkness and become sons and daughters of obedience and what mutual submission in the church and and between a husband and wife looks like. And then he gets into um he gets into parents and children, and then finally, here comes the war. We fight from love, not for it.

Carrie 31:17

And I just I just love it. I I just it just helped snap that into place. Friends, you and I are not trying to convince the Lord to love us. If we are in him, if we know him, he has lavished his grace upon us, he, he pours his love on us. His it is his love that drove him to sacrifice himself for for us that we would have the opportunity to be redeemed. This is where our identity finds its deep, deep root. This is the place where where we are not shaken. And I know in the midst of sin, I know in the midst of making mistakes or the things that people have done to you, or all the you know, abuse and horrible, horrific things that have happened. And and sometimes, like I said earlier, living under the shame of the mistakes and the sins that we commit against the Lord. There is a lot that comes against us, there's a lot that's in us.

Carrie 32:22

But friends, I just I want to encourage you today, and I'm and I'm telling myself this. I want to live here and I want to root myself in this. That when we abide in Jesus, we have everything we need. And we we come to a place where we can truly know who we really are, who the Lord has made us to be, the plans that he has for our life, the call that he has put on our life, the work that he has for us to do, the people that he has for us to minister to. There are things in your story, things that you have gone through that Jesus has freed you from, that he has brought you out of, that he has changed in you, that he has so beautifully gifted you in that you can only you can only minister to certain groups of people just like I can. There are certain certain groups of people that I can't minister to. Life experience is different and all that kind of stuff. I know Paul said I became all things to all people that I might by you know some means save some. Maybe the Lord will make that true in my life, but I still just I believe the Lord has gifted us and and and and filled us and made us in his image, and yet each one of us so uniquely reflect the the glory and the image of the Lord to this world.

Carrie 33:45

And so I want to encourage you today as I wrap up this series on abiding, that it is in abiding that we find our identity, because our identity is in Jesus, that we can learn how to fight from love, how to war for friends, how to war against the lies in our own life, how to intercede for other people, how to preach the gospel and not be afraid and not be afraid of the costs that Jesus might require of us. He just works so much, but friends, this is the foundation. Our identity is found in Jesus alone. And so I want to, I just like I said, I just really, really, really want to encourage you. I'm on fire about this, and I know I have more work to do. I know that Jesus is working, working more and more things in me. And I am so thankful that he is. And so to wrap up, I just want to remind you that at the end of this long thing, Paul says that he has sealed us with the Holy Spirit of promise.

Carrie 34:54

And that word seal, topical lexicon says that in the Greco-Roman world, a seal authenticated documents, protected property, and marked ownership. Wax or clay impressions bore the insignia of an authority. To tamper with the seal was to challenge that authority. Scripture adopts this imagery to speak of God's irrevocable act of certification, ownership, and safeguarding. Seal, this word seal unites past, present, and future. The father sealed the son, the spirit seals disciples now, and God will seal his servants for coming judgment. Each occurrence underscores Scripture's consistent testimony that what God seals, no power can annul. Praise God. Amen.

Carrie 35:55

Thank you for listening to another episode of Honey from the Rock. If this episode or the podcast in general has encouraged you in your walk with the Lord in any way, could I ask a favor? Would you mind going over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify and subscribing or leaving a review? These kinds of interactions on those platforms help get the podcast in front of more people. And I would greatly appreciate it. And I pray that you are blessed in the Lord.